Teen Sexual Violence: What Our Media and Culture Is Missing

The year 2013 has definitely brought about a shift in cultural consciousness. For the last year, our culture and media have finally started to critically examine rape culture and the prevalence of sexism, harassment and sexual assault worldwide. We were horrified by the tragic events in Steubenville and New Delhi, India. These assaults touched and angered so many of us and triggered an urgent call not just for dialogue and awareness, but also, for education and systemic change.  To that end, the Title IX movement, which is working to fight campus rape culture, launched earlier this year. Its mission is to work to “support all survivors, to change how colleges and universities handle sexual assault, and to change a culture where violence is normalized.” Survivors and allies have filed federal Title IX and Clery Act complaints at various universities in the U.S. for not providing the needed resources and for covering up rape when it happens.

For the last year I have wanted to add my voice to those who are covering these movements, but I knew I needed to learn more before I wrote about such an important issue in the public sphere. So I read and researched like crazy, and most importantly, listened to the hundreds of survivors who told me their stories. Even though I was thrilled by the increased visibility of this issue in the mainstream media, as I gained more knowledge I started to become frustrated with the vast amount of misinformation being propagated by our media and culture at large. A few weeks ago, I finally felt ready to co-author a piece on the media framing of teenage sexual violence for The Huffington Post. I am publishing the slightly longer version here, along with related articles and research that go beyond media framing to provide resources for parents, teens, and educators to end sexual violence. This will be the first of several pieces on sexual violence.

Last month, teenager Daisy Coleman bravely wrote a piece that detailed how another student from her hometown of Maryville, Missouri raped her and videotaped the assault. Her story echoes a familiar pattern of other high-profile cases involving teenagers, such as the Steubenville, Louisville, and Saratoga cases. While we find it encouraging that the mainstream media has been covering these cases, too much of the coverage has dismissed substantive research in favor of perpetuating various myths about young people and sexual assault.

We need journalists to re-frame the tone and questions that guide their reporting. The majority of the pieces covering teen sexual violence fall into superficial tropes that focus on the role of alcohol, the victim’s clothes, and sexting by “impulse-driven teens.” By fixating on sexting instead of what these teens are truly doing, which is “sexual assaultexting,” the media detracts from the fact that these boys are choosing to sexually assault another person and then shame them through social media.

Additionally, many journalists use language that deflects blame from the rapists and subtly shapes how readers understand teen sexual violence. Journalists tend to use passive phrasing, such as “she was raped,” which is problematic because it does not focus on the person who committed the crime. Too frequently, these cases are referred to as “scandals,” which only serves to sensationalize what happened while simultaneously obscuring that it was actually a crime. Often media coverage relies on terms that imply consent, such as “engaging in” and “sexual activity,” indicating a lack of knowledge about what constitutes rape. Ultimately, the way in which journalists cover teen sexual violence reflects a societal reluctance to label teenage boys as perpetrators.

These narratives support the “boys will be boys” myth that results in blaming the victim and the idea that teenage boys cannot be held truly accountable for their actions. Perhaps this explains why, in the coverage of the Steubenville rape case, reporters from multiple media outlets slanted their focus to be sympathetic to the rapists and blamed the victim. Who can forget CNN reporters expressing how “difficult” it was to hear the perpetrators convicted of rape crying in the courtroom, because their “promising lives” had fallen apart? But what about the life of the girl who they assaulted, who has to live with the rape for the rest of her life? This question is often absent from mainstream media coverage.

What we find so frustrating about this kind of reporting is that it ignores the fact that research has revealed the extent to which rape is a calculated and premeditated crime. Several studies have concluded that young people are able to understand refusals in many different contexts. Thus these cases are not accidents or miscommunications as the mainstream media often suggests: they are a result of boys not respecting a girl’s lack of consent. Understanding that perpetrators have specific attitudes, beliefs, worldviews, and cognitive frameworks that shape their decisions to override this consent and that need to be addressed by comprehensive socialization and education” is a different framework than what the media usually defaults to, which is that these young rapists are simply confused boys who rape by “accident.”

Additionally, while journalists often focus on the victim’s consumption of alcohol as causing sexual assault, research shows how perpetrators use alcohol as a tool to facilitate rape. Therefore, when media coverage focuses on the alcohol usage of victims, they are giving rapists the social license to operate because these men know that women who are drinking are seen as less credible when they report sexual assault.

Furthermore, research on college rapists mirrors studies of convicted sex offenders, which reveals that the majority of rapists are serial predators who often begin committing sexual violence as adolescents. Thus the cases we see in the news aren’t accidents or a ‘blip’ on a boy’s otherwise flawless record — they are more often than not the start of a long career as a serial rapist.

Given this research, it is distressing that articles that cover teen sexual violence pay little attention to how we fail to educate teenagers in ways that actually prevent sexual assault, such as comprehensive health education at school and in the home that focuses on teaching sexual respect and what constitutes sexual consent. Journalists need to work on reframing how we understand sexual violence prevention, because the research clearly shows that the only thing that causes sexual violence is someone choosing to assault another person. There needs to be an emphasis on preventative education which has been proven again and again to be a successful tool in helping to cut sexual assault rates amongst young people.

The tragedy of many of these cases goes far beyond the crime of sexual assault. It is also the dozens of young people who witnessed them and did nothing. We need to teach adolescents to act ethically in these situations. With bystander education, in which individuals are taught how to intervene when they see someone in trouble, these cases could have been prevented. Media coverage should stress the importance of bystander education as a successful way to empower young people to stop rape. Examples of noteworthy programs include the New York State Department of Health’s toolkit for bystander intervention and the University of New Hampshire’s Know Your Power campaign.

Most importantly, what needs to be clear in media coverage of teen sexual violence is that sexting, alcohol, and the Internet do not cause rape. The true issues at hand in these cases are disregard for other people’s bodily autonomy and lack of empathy for sexual assault survivors. Until those working in the media understand this, misconceptions regarding teen sexual assault will continue to be perpetuated to a wider audience.

When journalists ignore the research on sexual violence and toolkits about how to properly cover sexual assault and instead resort to superficial and sensationalist reporting, they are hurting efforts to end teen sexual violence. The media should not only do a better job when covering these stories, but also work to help educate and shape public opinion about what works to stop sexual assault. We owe it to young women like Daisy Coleman to accurately tell their stories and be allies in fighting sexual violence.

Resources for Teens:

Want to take action? Check out the I will End Sexual Violence and love is respect campaigns, as well as the Representation Project and SPARK movement to see how you can get involved in ending not just sexual violence, but the sexualization and objectification of young people in the media!

Resources for Parents:

The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons

Hey Teenage Boys! Worried About Steubenville? Don’t Be.

Boys Will Be Boys, But Not Always Men

What To Tell The Next Generation

In Steubvenville Rape Case, a Lesson For Adults

Additional Resources for Educators:

The Effectiveness of Empathy-Based Rape Prevention and Bystander Training

Importance of Targeting Intervention at Teens

Five Creative Ways That Students Are Fighting Rape Culture

Why People Don’t Intervene When They Witness a Sexual Assault, and How We Can Change That

Please, No More Dating Guides

General Resources on Sexual Violence and Rape Culture:

Mapping a Global Pandemic: Sexual Violence Against Women

Rape Culture 101

This Is What Rape Culture Looks Like

How Slut Shaming Becomes Victim Blaming

The Five Ways Sexual Assault Is Really About Entitlement

My Related Posts:

Why We Need Independent Media

Misee Harris: Why a Black Bachelorette May Matter More Than You Think

“I’m totally in love with this island and the $40,000 ring — I mean, you.”

The Bachelor. For 25 seasons, millions of viewers have watched a familiar formula of women crying, helicopter rides as first dates, and so many red roses given and ‘I love yous’ exchanged that have, with the exception of three cases, ended in break-ups. The show isn’t exactly a rousing advertisement for the institution of marriage, but rather a venue for many contestants to pursue pseudo-permanent reality television careers and fratty cruise events where they can hook up with other like-minded, shallow people.

Can you tell I’m not a diehard fan? (And yes, I know I enjoy my Housewives. But we all have our contradictions, and I’m living with mine every day, gfs).

Pediatric Dentist Misee Harris campaigns to be the next Bachelorette.

So it may surprise you that I’m actually a big advocate of Misee Harris’ social media campaign to become the first black bachelorette. The pediatric dentist from Tennessee is an absolute knockout who also has a huge heart, given her commitment to mentoring young women and volunteer efforts with children who have autism. She has a precious video of her with her dog, is sweet with her Facebook fans and quotes 2 Chainz. Nuff’ said.

I’m annoying and shady and nobody liked me … was I picked because I’m white? That’s like, totally awesome.

So why the social media campaign? Although Harris applied and was chosen to be a contestant on a previous season of The Bachelor, she ultimately withdrew because she was concerned about ‘being another token.’ Given that all 25 seasons of the franchise have featured white Bachelors and Bachelorettes, and that there have been very few contestants of color, this is totes a valid concern. Here is what bothers me. Misee Harris is pretty much perfect. I mean seriously, how many people do you know who possess all of her exceptional qualities? When you consider some of the other not-so-perfect contestants on the show (Vienna Girardi anyone? Or Brad Womack? OK those were the only seasons I watched, promise ;)), it seems a bit ridiculous for creator Mike Fleiss to make the claim that diverse contestants don’t come forward, and that when they do, it feels a ‘bit forced,’ like ‘tokenism.’

An earth angel, not a token! (photo courtesy of Jaimie Tull of Tull Studios).

First of all, isn’t there an argument to be made that viewers have been ‘forced’ to endure ten years of nearly all-white casts that for many of us, do not reflect the diversity of people we engage with in our daily lives? Also, tokenism in this context would imply that a non-qualified contestant was picked simply because they added diversity. But to dismiss a beautiful, successful, charitable woman because of the color of her skin? How does that constitute anything but systematic racial exclusion? Seriously dude, check out the Wikipedia definition of these terms before you preach such foolishness, fo’ real.

I was SO heart-broken a week ago, but now I’m the new Bachelorette—score!

Furthermore, why is it that the Bachelorette must be a former contestant? Isn’t the formula getting a tad stale? I mean really, every season, it’s the same deal—white woman gets ‘heart broken’ on The Bachelor, sits in Chris Harrison’s hot seat during the reunion show for ten minutes and cries about how she is ‘looking for love’ and has finally moved on from the Bachelor who she fell in love with over those two dates she had with him, only to come back a week later smiling and radiant as she is announced the new Bachelorette. We. get. it.

Now I know there are many peeps out there who will argue that The Bachelor isn’t a show that contestants of color should strive to be on in the first place, and that it might actually demean an accomplished woman like Harris. I have a few responses to this, and I highly recommend that you act out a Snap! as I make each point, so get ready. First of all, regardless of whether or not you think Harris should be on the show doesn’t take away from the fact that Harris wants to be on the show. At the end of the day, she should be granted an equal opportunity, period. Yes I know, she could have been a contestant on The Bachelor and won a chance to become the next Bachelorette, but considering that very few contestants of color have gotten far on previous seasons of the show, the odds of that happening were very much against her. Secondly, The Bachelor is one of television’s most popular franchises that is watched by millions of people religiously and has, like it or not, cultural influence. To give a show an all-inclusive title like ‘The Bachelor’ implies that there are going to be all kinds of contestants on the show, not a whitewashed view of relationships and marriage that as Jezebel put it, “couldn’t be further from reality.” I mean seriously, if Mike Fleiss is going to be so blunt about his reasons for excluding people of color, then he should have named it ‘The White Bachelor.’ Or, ‘The Fratty Bachelor.’ Or even better, ‘The White, Fratty, Straight, Christian Bachelor.’ You know? Keep. It. Real.

A dating show, or white Greek rush event?

Quick side note. Similar criticisms were leveled at Lena Dunham of the show Girls, for featuring an all-white cast in the middle of Brooklyn. And guess what? Dunham admitted that had been an oversight and promptly addressed the lack of diversity in the second season. I love me some self-reflection. LOVE.

Lena figured it out, so why can’t Mike?

Finally, it is precisely this cultural permeability, this accessibility, that can actually make a show like The Bachelor a potentially powerful tool for creating conversations on topics around relationships and some other pretty serious issues. Doubtful? OK, let’s take the example of Sean Lowe’s season, which did feature a fairly diverse group of contestants, including an Iraqi woman named Selma Alameri. Former Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky took it upon herself to write a blog entry titled “Selma’s boobs, Roller Derby, and Tierra Drama” in which she makes fun of Selma’s cleavage and criticizes her intent to stay true to her mother’s wishes and not kiss Sean on national television.

(Brief aside/rant: There’s nothing I love more than when someone like Ali, who has reaped the benefits from The Bachelor for all the reasons mentioned above, takes an opportunity to shame a woman of color’s body on a public forum as well as provide ‘cutting-edge’ cultural criticism. No really, it’s like, my favorite thing ever. She should totes come back for another season of The Bachelorette, cause last I checked, season one didn’t work out too great. Oh no. I. didn’t. Oh yes I did! Snap!).

Aside over. When reading the comments in the article below, there was definitely quite a bit of backlash against Ali for, as one person put it, “discussing other cultures in a blog when you don’t know anything about that culture.” Then one person responded to that comment by asking,

Maybe you can help explain why this point of view is wrong. To those who don’t know much about/understand these cultures, Selma is a bit confusing. Where do we draw the line of modesty on national television? I don’t know much about the Muslim faith myself, but I was under the impression that women were supposed to dress more modestly, abstain from drinking alcohol, and not be spooning and caressing on national television. What makes kissing so taboo in relativity to those other things?

Then over at Reality Steve, the blogger who posts spoilers every season, someone responded to his comments calling Selma a ‘tease’ for dressing sexy but not ‘putting out’ by noting,

I take MAJOR issues with you going on and on about how Selma dresses sexy and thus she was a ‘cock tease’ for not putting out with Sean. Wow Steve, so if a woman dresses sexy, she has to put out? That’s how rape culture is perpetuated, FYI.

Who knew a date between Iraqi-born Selma Alameri and Bachelor Sean Lowe would provoke cultural conversations?

This is why I think pop culture shows can be so awesome, because they can facilitate important conversations on issues like culture and gender that need to be had, just by the nature of their accessibility. While the diversity of blogs in the blogosphere is exciting, there is a potential that certain communities which cater to specific topics will only pull in the interested and invested, ultimately preaching to the choir. I love the idea that having a diverse group of contestants on a show that so many people watch might provoke questions and spark conversations on cultures that are different from theirs in a way that they might not normally engage with. I mean seriously, I love that someone might actually learn something, or at the very least, be inspired to learn, about the Islamic faith after watching an episode where two people go on a date, climb a rock, and toast marshmallows over a campfire. Furthermore, as this blogger put it,

Such a show would inherently promote the idea that black women are desirable. It disrupts the cultural narratives in media—that some see as propaganda—promoting the expectation that African-American women should be perpetually single. It de-emphasizes the standard of a white, fair-haired woman as the epitome of female beauty and worthiness, a standard which fuels billions of dollars in sales of hair dye, hair extensions, and skin-bleaching creams globally. This beauty ideal also contributes to the absence of black women from the ranks of the highest paid models and actresses, where our form of beauty tends to be an occasional exotic trend rather than embraced as an everyday normality.

Scandal proves we’re reading for a romantically attractive black leading lady.

As she further points out, it is not like Americans aren’t interested in high-profile relationships involving black women, including those of Beyonce and Jay Z, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Will Smith, and of course, Michelle and Barack Obama. Seriously, if Americans are ready for a relationship between two black people in the White House, then why can’t they watch a black woman date on a show that isn’t just comical (read: Flavor of Love)? And if Mike Fleiss is so concerned about ratings, perhaps he should look to the show Scandal, which features an affair between a powerful black broker played by Kerry Washington and a white president that is bringing in eight million viewers an episode.

Pop culture visibility matters, and Misee Harris deserves to be part of it. If she were chosen I would totes watch, and it’s not just because she’s black. It is because she is a professional, talented woman who would add interest due to the nature of her accomplishments. That being said, picking a diverse roster of candidates for her would also add a lot of interest, and it would probably get people talking. And that’s a good thing, right girlfriends?

Want to show Misee some love and support? Check out her Facebook page and her twitter account, and tweet Mike Fleiss @fleissmeister letting him know you want @miseeharris as the next #bachelorette!

And check out this Huff Po live interview with Misee!

An abridged version of this article is now on The Huffington Post.

Update, Feedback Needed, and ‘One Billion Rising!’

Hey peeps! I know it’s been a little while since I last posted, so I wanted to shoot you all a quick update. I have been a bit under the weather these past few weeks so I haven’t been able to write as much as I’ve wanted to, but don’t worry (you weren’t worrying, were you?), I have been doing some mad research on the posts I will be publishing soon that are related to my Ethical Fashion series. Also, I wanted to expand this blog’s scope a bit, and so I added a Pinterest and Tumblr! The reason why I am adding these new features now is because when I started this blog, I wasn’t sure what it was going to look like. I knew I wanted to start conversations on topics that I was passionate about, but I didn’t know how in-depth these posts were going to be, or what kind of engagement readers were looking for. I have only been blogging here for four months, but I do feel strongly now that this site is most appropriate for more complex discussions of culture, fashion, gender, and media, and the feedback I have gotten from many of you is that you appreciate the time and thought I put into researching the range of topics that are covered here. And while I am all about thought-provoking, carefully researched posts, the fact is, sometimes, I just want to bust a little, you know? I mean, in any given day, I will find myself grappling with Beyonce’s feminism, why Mindy Kaling is only dating white guys on The Mindy Project, Sports Illustrated‘s racist swimsuit issue (just. when. I. thought. I. had. seen. it. all.), and more. And it’s a little frustrating to not share these ideas/rants with you. This is my main site, but these other platforms will hopefully expand the scope of this blog and allow for different kinds of engagement. It will also give me the chance to engage with everyone more often, since realistically I am only able to publish a piece on here one to two times a week, given how much time I put into researching and writing them. So to avoid any confusion about what the purpose for these various social media outlets are, here’s a breakdown:

• Facebook: Love. my. FB. friends. We share awesome links related to the topics covered in LG, and we get into amazing discussions! I have gained so many resources and gotten some really helpful feedback from the peeps on this page, and we all try to post links that are current and relevant. Join us for Valentine’s Day as we share events related to the ‘One Billion Rising‘ events happening all around the world!
• Twitter: A really chill place to connect, but I find the 150-word count limit to be one of the most challenging aspects of my day. I mean, you’ve read my posts, right? Still, a great place to give a quick shout-out and share links, not to mention foster the idea that Mindy Kaling and I are besties. Plus, totes excited I FINALLY know what FF (Follow Friday) is! I had no idea and until about a day ago was just like, “Umm…back at you FF!”
• Tumblr: I’m really excited about having a Tumblr! This is where I will write quick posts that either add to the longer posts I am writing here, or are on topics that may not be related to what I am writing about at the moment, but are still relevant to what I write about generally. I will also be posting re-caps of shows (critical gfs, always critical), pictures and links of organizations and sustainable companies that I think are awesome, and even short interviews with people who inspire me.
• Pinterest: I love that you can look at my Pinterest boards, and get a good sense of what my passions and even my values are. It’s corny, but a picture really does tell a thousand words.

Please let me know if there is anything else you would like to see me write about on Tumblr, or if you think I should add another board on Pinterest. Also, thoughts about Instagram? So many of my friends have one, but the privacy settings sketch me out. I would love to share pictures of an Eco-fashion show I will be attending in March, or a visit with an artisan from Guatemala who will be coming to the area in April. But the idea of these pictures potentially being used for advertisements without my knowledge makes me a little wary, and I guess I could always add those pictures into my posts anyway. Please let me know what you think!

Also:

• Links: I just updated my Blogroll on the side of my blog. I would LOVE to hear of any other blogs or sites that you think I might be interested in that are related to the main topics that are covered here!
• Giveaways: Over the next few weeks as I continue with my Ethical Fashion series, I will be featuring quite a few giveaways. Needless to say these products promote smaller organizations, non-profits, and companies that are relevant to the topics covered by the series and whose causes are ones in which I firmly believe. I know a lot of people are skeptical of the giveaways that are provided by corporate sponsors to bloggers, and the reason why I am doing so many giveaways is partly because I want to demonstrate that there are alternatives to these corporate promotions that are so prevalent in the blogosphere. I have done a lot of research on these organizations and I hope that I can help create awareness around their truly amazing missions. For example, a few weeks ago I gave away this gift basket from the amazing worker-owned, cooperative Equal Exchange, which produces organic food items from Africa, Asia, and Latin America. The gift basket benefits Congolese women who are being treated at the Panzi hospital in Bukavu, for immense trauma they have endured as a result of the civil wars in the region of Eastern Congo. The hospital is also connected to the non-profit Mamafrica, which I wrote about in a recent post! So needless to say, I put a lot of thought into these giveaways!

Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day! Ok, keepin’ it real (since doing so 24-7 was my New Year’s Resolution), I’ve become a bit disillusioned about Valentine’s Day. It’s not even that I’m not a romantic, because seriously, one of my favorite movies ever is Love Story, no lie. It’s just that I don’t know whether love should be marketed and sold for one day a year and given to Hallmark in the form of a billion dollar check. Don’t get me wrong, I love chocolate too, but why can’t we share love, and surprise each other with chocolate, every day? Cause that would be amazing, just sayin’ (speaking of which, my next post will be on the chocolate industry, and you might be surprised by how related it is to my posts on fashion, so stay tuned).

That being said, I am really excited about the One Billion Rising event that will be happening today, in over 160 countries around the world. The event is a global campaign to fight violence against women, and was initiated by playwright Eve Ensler (of The Vagina Monologues) in response to Todd Akin’s ‘legitimate rape’ comments. Why ‘one billion?’ Because one of every three women on the planet (one billion) will be raped or beaten in her lifetime. The page that is linked allows you to search for an event that is happening in your area, which may include flash mobs, dances, yarn bombing, strikes, protests and more!  While I do think the event is a bit heteronormative (there are men out there who are victims of violence), I still think it’s a cool way to raise awareness and promote women’s empowerment and solidarity on a day that is mostly about fluff. Supporting women in the global fight to end violence?? Now THAT’S love. Happy Valentine’s Day (for real), and I heart you all for your discussions, feedback, and from many of you, the inspiring stories of the amazing work you do.

One Billion Rising Promotional Video:

Have a One Billion Rising event to share? Let me know in the comments below! And also feel free to provide feedback about my questions regarding Instagram, Tumblr, etc.